Do Cats Really Get More Affectionate With Age?(Yes, But…)

There is a dream for a lot of cat-lover that their cute little kitten will grow up to be an affectionate little lap-cat. But, what are the chances of this actually happening?

Do all cats get more affectionate with age? If so, why is this the case? Also, what can you do to get them to be more affectionate? Check out the list of the best organic cat treats on Amazon now!

Do Cats Get More Affectionate With Age?

The short answer here isn’t what all new owners want to hear. Some cats will become more affectionate with age.

They can soften and get more comfortable with you as they mature, and this is more likely with males that are neutered. But, it all depends on the personality and breed of the cat.

Some will be soft little lapcats and others will remain more independent. A little “training” may help, but there is no guarantee.

At What Age Will Cats Start Being More Cuddly and Loving?

Every cat is different, but you should start to find that your cat gets more affectionate around the age of a year, two years maximum. By this point, if they are still a little stand-offish with you, they might not ever change.

It might be more to do with their personality than their age. But, kittens that start to mature and get comfortable in their new homes will start to show their true colors.

For some, this will mean getting very cuddly and up in your lap. Others may just like the occasional pat and show you where the boundaries are.

Why Do Cats Get More Cuddly with Age?

From there, you might also find that your cat becomes more affectionate as it gets older. This isn’t a guarantee, but older cats can soften and be more willing to spend time by your side.

It is important to take note of when this happens and whether there is a sharp change in behavior. Sudden shifts can be indicative of feline senility in older cats.

These elderly animals can see affection more but this may mean more than just a desire for company.

Cognitive issues can lead to confusion and anxiety, which, in turn, makes them more needy and dependable on you. That affection and neediness may not be from a positive place.

So, take your time to try and improve their situation. The same is true for any cat with failing hearing or eyesight that needs more support.

Do Male Cats Get More Affectionate with Age?

One additional consideration that cat owners question is whether male cats get more affectionate with age.

There are lots of owners that swear that this is the case, and others that wish that they shared that experience as their own male cats are still far more independent.

The breed and personality of the cat will play more of a role than the sex of the cat. But, there is also the issue of neutering cats.

Do Male Cats Become More Affectionate After Neutering?

Male cats who have been neutered indeed have a greater likelihood of showing affection than they did before. The process removes some of the territorial behavior and male drive that can make them more independent and head-strong.

They should soften, to some degree, and you may find that they are more affectionate than before. But, this doesn’t mean that there are going to go from being on their own to crawling into your lap straight after their surgery.

Can you Train a Cat to Be More Affectionate?

If you are concerned that age and neutering aren’t enough to make your cat as affectionate as you would like, you could try training your cat. Training a cat isn’t the same as training a dog. You can’t use commands and bribery in the same way to shape behavior. Try these tips.

  1. Let the cat take the reigns and gradually show them that you are trustworthy and enjoyable to be with.
  2. Start small, letting them rub up against your finger or the back of your hand.
  3. Don’t force them onto your lap. Eventually, they should make the effort themselves more often.

How do I Choose an Affectionate Cat/Kitten?

If this sounds like too much of a gamble and you want to be more sure of getting a cat that will be affectionate, you can think about the breed of the cat you get and the personality of the kitten.

  • Take your time to get to know the kittens when you go and see them, rather than going straight for the cutest face.
  • If it comfortably comes over to investigate you and get attention, this is a good sign that you will bond well in the future.
  • If you have to coax it out from under the furniture, this might be a bad sign of your future life together.
  • If they hiss at you, it’s a bad match from the start.

You can also look into getting a kitten that is either:

  • Persian
  • Burmese
  • or a Ragdoll.

These breeds are a lot more affectionate in nature and have greater potential to be lapcats as they grow up. With the right upbringing, interactions, and neutering, they could become close companions.

Why is my Cat so Clingy all of a Sudden?

Finally, it helps to pay attention to when your cat suddenly becomes clingy and affectionate out of nowhere. Consider the following.

  1. This could be a sign of anxiety. If something has spooked them, or there has been a change in their routine, this could make them want to be close to you for reassurance.
  2. There may be some medical reason and they could be in pain.

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Related Post: Do Cats Act Weird After Spaying/Neutering?


In short, while there is no guarantee that your cat will become more affectionate with age, there is potential. Some breeds are softer than others when they mature and there is the possibility that males will if neutered. But, you can’t force it. Make the most of what your cat is willing to give when they are in the mood.